A Whole Other Kind of McDonald's

    1 May 2004, the wee hours

portion of my McDonald's WiFi access ticket

There was a crazy lady sitting in the McDonald’s near my house.

My friends and I arrived at McDonald’s, excited to get some Cappuccinos, Lattés and Coffees. I know, you’re thinking to yourself, “McDonald’s doesn’t sell Cappuccinos.” Well think again, because the McDonald’s near my house isn’t some run of the mill McDicks. No sir, the attached McCafé serves up a slew of McDonald’s styled coffee shop items. More then that, the McDonald’s is a hotspot, offering up 45 minutes of WiF access to anyone who spends more then three dollars at the restaurant. I had brought my iBook with me to try the net access out.

My friend Matt ordered a ‘cheesecake’ which apparently had a homogenous taste to it. The gram cracker crust tasted like the chocolate layer tasted like the vanilla layer tasted like the fudge icing. That’s the science of McDonald’s for you. I ordered a McCoffee. I don’t usually drink coffee, so I haven’t a clue if it was good or bad.

Now, as I was saying, there was a crazy lady sitting in the McDonald’s. Well, it’s not nice to call people crazy. She probably wasn’t crazy, just really angry. Very, very, Angry. We picked the spot next to her to sit, not realizing she wasn’t pleasant till after we had dropped our stuff there. Now, it would be rude to get up and leave, so we stuck it out. However, in between dropping our stuff down and ordering our food and drinks she got up and left to sit at the other side of the restaurant. She was belligerent for a good while before finally being forced to leave. She didn’t leave quietly.

I opened up my iBook, and tried to connect to Google. I was redirected to some sort of authentication page. I was excited, ready to write about my adventures at the WiFi-McDonald’s. I typed my assigned user name and password and waited patiently while it sent my information off.

A message saying, 'You can't login'



  1. SEE!!! I wasn’t lying to you in loo when I said Mcd’s were giving away free internet with their meals. Gotta find one near me now so i can try it out.

  2. I couldn’t even connect to their lame ass WiFi. So disappointed. Big-Mac + Internet = Super-Wicked-Good.

  3. Don’t you think you’re overrating the quality of the both the Big Mac and the McInternet if you add them together to get Super-Wicked-Good?! ;-)

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