Don't Buy Beds at Ikea

   28 October 2005, early morning

My bed lays in pieces in the foyer of my apartment. My plan was to set it on fire—it’s made out of untreated wood—but, I don’t really know where I can go and do that in the city; it also seems like more trouble than it is worth. Instead, I plan to just leave it next to the giant garbage cans in the parking garage of my building. Someone else can take the wood and burn it if they want, or perhaps do something productive with the bed. When I bought the bed, I had planned to lacquer it some sort of mahogany brown. It would look nice and cool. That never happened. Just as well, the bed started to break about a month or so after I bought it. It’s a piece of junk bed from Ikea, and the slats had a habit of falling through the bed. I ended up stuffing cardboard boxes under the bed to help hold them up, though this was only a partial solution. I dismantled the bed late last night. Only my mattress separates me from the floor. I am moving soon. I will have a roommate, and live in a small duplex. I feel like I’m going backwards in time.



  1. ikea beds are also really creaky and loud ;)

  2. Isn’t that ironic! Though I’m one to talk: moving back in with my parents in 42 more days. Yay!

  3. Perhaps its because you’re so large Ram. Us NORMAL-sized folk, we can sleep in them just fine. Go on a diet fats-o!

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