A painting of me

Good Parents Pay. ⇒

   19 February 2007, late afternoon

You can help track down dead beat dads. This link was found via Victor.

This is a post from my link log: If you click the title of this post you will be taken the web page I am discussing.

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Comments

  1. One of the most frustrating things is to know that those that pay and are “good parents” get no respect from the FRO, yet those that don’t aren’t chased that hard.

    20 pictures on the deadbeat page?
    If these are the only deadbeat dads, then the FRO has no right to treat good ones like garbage when they inquire or attempt to disprove accusations by custodial parents.

    In reality, there are more “good parents” than deadbeats, however…the good ones get no respect or voice from that office.

  2. I don’t get what the point of a site like this even is. The governments decided public shaming is the best way to deal with dead beat dads — all 20 of them. They paid people money — and since this is the government, probably a lot of money — to make this site. It boggles the mind.

  3. You know, people who abandon their kids aren’t all that concerned about being shamed. Besides, who’s going to see that website unless they’re looking for it? In my opinion, this is just another simplistic attempt to prove to the public that something is being done, and satisfy women’s groups. Child support issues are not as simple as people think. People’s situations are complicated, and often the non-custodial isn’t heard. How many men are stopped from seeing their children but get the right to pay for that privilege? Who is to say that they haven’t stopped paying in protest of not being able to see their children? I know from personal experience that the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. My husbands access to his children hinged on their mothers “mood”, yet his payments were prompt and every whim she had was catered to lest she deny him access to his children. She puppeteer’d us for years with those children, and lived off of their support payments. She’s still not working for goodness sake!

    Sorry for the rant there…feel free to delete it…but this subject gets right up my nose. And I’m the product of a single parent home with no child support!

    Every rope has two ends.

  4. Yes, initially…but it will fade into internet disinterest like everything else does.
    Right now, there are 20 guys on it…people need to see it when there’s 2000 guys on it, and a search function.

    Besides, it’s a simplistic solution that can create legal problems for the FRO (and cost the taxpayers more money) if they post someone in error…(and they do make errors. Often.)

  5. I’d have to agree with Radmilla. I can’t imagine this site being something people check on a regular basis. And I would imagine background checks done by HR people would cover whether you are a dead beat mom or dad or not. (I would hope so anyway.) I didn’t even scan through all 20 dads. I thought it was cute and moved on. I imagine a lot of people will pop in, look around, and then never go back.

    What they need an RSS feed.

  6. They only put on 20 people out of the thousands of un-paying parents.

    It’s really a warning to the “normal” un-paying parents that they don’t want to get their face on here.

  7. Well, it certainly fits with a warning since many of the guys on there weren’t in the province, and some not even in the country.

  8. I think this is very unfair. There are two sides to every coin, unfortunatley it seems that only one side is to be heard. All men have NO rights in the courts. The system was supposed to be put in place so that the children can live in a lifestyle to which they where accustom pryor to the marriage breakdown. From my experience the children have a much better life than the paying parent. I would also like to say that I think the amount of child support ordered should be caluclated after taxes on net pay not gross! This would entitle the paying parent to have a life with or without his children of course at the mercy of their ex spouse. I believe that the paying parent should also be intitled to some of the tax credits as well. Everything including child support payments keep going up and wages don’t. How do I know this, I have been a single parent with a non or very little paying spouse and am now the spouse of a paying person who has no rights!

  9. I think the FRO should be broadening there criteria for this website. It only includes people that they can not find. My ex works for Statistics Canada at UWO making 68,000 plus a year and it has taken the FRO 8 months to begin to get payments out of him. My children and I live off of 16,000 a year and he complains that he is in financial hardship and shouldn’t have to pay arrears. He drives a new car and lives in a house he owns and plans to spend the month of April in Europe. I have never denied him access even after he assaulted me and my children did not want to see him because they were afriad of him. I facilitated supervised visits to hold up my end of the responsibilities.
    These are the people who should be on the website.
    Shame on parents who are too selfish to take care of their own children.

  10. I think the FRO should be broadening there criteria for this website.

    I think FRO should forget about the web site and help you get your child support. This web site is a waste of time — unless its goal is some sort of child support vigilantism.

  11. Laura, I must say that you are a fine example of the FRO’s glaring incompetence.
    My husband has always gone above and beyond for his children and has been harrassed, and treated like garbage by that office, meanwhile, men like your ex, and my ex-brother in law get away scott free.
    The FRO seem to be only good at shooting fish already in the barrel.
    The website is a waste of taxpayers hard earned money, and a mere showpiece to say that something is being done.
    What needs to be done is more attention to individual cases with “caseworkers” dealing with individual files instead of the call centre approach.

  12. what others are saying

    www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2550

  13. I think the website is nothing but a hoax, I think the whole child support is just a scam for some women to give it to the men they do not want. I know as my man and i are struggling like heck to make ends meet and we have a child together and yet the mother is living high on the hill. She had an affair with a man who she did not come clean with till he turned 18. She then kicked out her man and moved in the other guy. And yet she lives in co-op housing and pays hardly any rent. She played head games with the kids and us now u can see them now you can’t. Or her good one was you can see them and then after two hours of driving get there to pick them up and she sent them away for the weekend. I think alot of things need to change with fro. I think paternity tests need to be done as he found out the kids are not his after all these years, who would feel like paying after that. And also I think if the women gets rid of the man for another guy cause she is frisky then he should not have to pay. The states demand paternity if filing for CS so why does not Canada sink the money into a program like that. you would have more people who would know the truth before paying for so many years and then finding out the kids were never yours. There are so many reasons men/women do not pay, and alot of it is because the CS is way too damn high or there wages have decreased. and then just to get things changed you have to go back to court to fix things everytime. Not only that she is still claiming CS for her oldest who has been out of school and moved out since she was 16, and he informed fro on everything and they do nothing about it, just keep adding it on. And yet my ex makes one call and they listened to his lies and closed my case without informing me. He was in arrears and they still closed it on me. Not like he ever paid , so where is the fairness in my case and everyone elses. I think in truth CS is only another word for alimony. Again now you know why alot of men are scared of being with women, because there are goudging women who will take you down and others who are genuine who men still will be afraid of. Fro cares about no one and they honestly do not care about the kids. They just needed people to have jobs so they made this up so us taxpayors have to shell out more money. If they closed down maybe more dads would be more likely to stop feeling so threatened and ex spouses would be more likely to respond better cause they would not have fro backing them up. As long as fro is around men will always get screwed and i am sorry to say it, but it is the truth. I have such a beef in alot more areas with fro then just this i could go forever, but this fro is for the birds.

  14. Oh…if I had a dollar for every time we drove 35km to get the kids only to be turned back by my husbands ex, I’d own property in Barbados.

    Sometimes hubby would talk to her just before we left the house and when we’d get there she just wouldn’t answer the buzzer or the door.

    And yes, she had the co-op housing, and the child benefit tax, and daycare subsidy, and the tax break, and the luxury of not working for a year at a time.

    I’m beginning to think I did the wrong thing. I should have found some poor shmoe, had a couple of kids and then just sucked his blood for the next two decades.
    BTW, if you want the FRO to stop taking the money, you have to apply to have the payments cease. That means that if you don’t apply, you can have them keep taking money from your paycheque until the kids have kids of their own.
    We just found that out because they are 22 and 23 and we were wondering how much longer hubby was required to pay.
    We found out that it doesn’t stop if it isn’t specified in the custody agreement.

    Yeah.
    Totally fair to the non-custodial.

  15. So how do you go about ceasing support, He has tried talking to them, And it seems FRO does not care, if she says differ they believe her without asking for proof. There has to be something ppl can do to get FRO to see what they are doing to fathers and their kids, Do you know how many fathers probably regret having kids because of what the law allows the custodian parent to do.Do you know how many men are afraid to have kids with a women these days just because of what they hear other fathers go through. Does FRO not see how many fathers and or kids are hurt by this program either by the kids not seeing there dad or the father commits suicide or they kidnap the kids. It is so weird when fathers have custody you do not see many of them take things out on the women as the women love to stick it to the men. I would rather have my son have a relationship with the father then to have money come in between them. My sons father never paid for 10 year and i never did anything like what half of these women get away with. And yet when men try and speak up about this they are not heard, Everyone hears and listen to the women. Now i know why alot of men turn the other way ,,it is safer. There has to be a easier way to do this for the men instead of going through court all the time, for one lawyers are not cheap. And FRO does not listen, only what they want, They must get a commission for the cases that get paid. Because if i worked for FRO i would be listening to both sides first and get proof and stop the case before proceeding anymore. Why do they not do that as alot of women do not want to tell the truth so they think if they say nothing FRO will just keep collecting , well if they are not responding then there must be a reason why they are not . Why does FRO not see that and take action. LAZINESS

  16. Wendy, if your steps are over 18 you can apply to cease payment.

    I know how hard it is to get through to the FRO office, and how surly, and unhelpful the operators can be.

    If you email me at radmila@gmail.com, I’ll send the form in PDF to you.

  17. Hello,

    I was speaking with Wendy, and she let me know that you may be you can help me with the situation my boyfriend and i are in. He is now 32 years Old and has a bench warrent out for his arrest due to back pay of child support ( he is not sure if this child is even his ) he has never seen this child, the mother and this child were taken away by her parents while she was pregnant. He has a 7 year old child from a previous relationship and him and i have a 5 month old son he does support both children. If you can offer any help or advice please contact me.

  18. Hey Ram, how come my name in the OP is a link…but it doesn’t really go anywhere… =p

  19. Because you don’t link to your site when you post here, so I assumed you don’t want me linking to it either.

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