A painting of me


   15 August 2005, late evening

There are a few bands whose passing I really do lament. One such band is Portishead. Everytime I listen to their albums I hope that they will get back together and make a new album. It probably won’t happen. Apparently both Beth Gibbons and Geoff Barrows don’t get along all too well. Least they made two really good albums before parting company.

Did I see a moment with you
In a half lit world
I’m frightened to believe
But I must try
If I stumble if I fall
I’m reaching out in this mourning air

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So much on my mind that I can’t recline
Blastin holes in the night till she bled sunshine
Breathe in, inhale vapors from bright stars that shine
Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline
Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call
I can’t take it y’all, I can feel the city breathin’
Chest heavin’, against the flesh of the evening
Sigh before we die like the last train leaving
Respirations by Blackstar

For all we know
We may never meet again
Before you go make this moment sweet again
We won’t say goodnight until the last minute
I’ll hold out my hand and my heart will be in it
For all we know this may be only a dream
We come and go like a ripple on a stream
So love me tonight
Tomorrow was made for some
Tomorrow may never come
For all we know — For All We Know by Billie Holiday

As much as i definitely enjoy solitude
I wouldn’t mind perhaps
Spending little time with you
Possibly maybe probably love
Possibly Maybe by Björk

Punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet ?
When in this charming car
This charming man

Why pamper life’s complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?

I would go out tonight
But I haven’t got a stitch to wear
This man said “it’s gruesome
That someone so handsome should care”

This Charming Man by the Smiths

Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you
Tomorrow I’ll miss you
Remember I’ll always be true
And then while I’m away
I’ll write home every day
And I’ll send all my loving to you

I’ll pretend that I’m kissing
The lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true
And then while I’m away
I’ll write home every day
And I’ll send all my loving to you

All my loving, I will send to you
All my loving, darling I’ll be true

All My Loving by the Beatles.

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said “yes I think we’ve met before”
In that instant it started to pour

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars

I’m a poorman’s son, from across the railroad tracks,
The only shirt I own is hangin’ on my back,
But I’m the envy of ev’ry single guy
Since I’m the apple of my girl’s eye.
When we go out stepping on the town for a while
My money’s low and my suit’s out of style,
But it’s all right if my clothes aren’t new
Out of sight because my heart is true.
Uptight by Stevie Wonder

Every ten year-old enemy soldier
Thinks falling bombs are shooting stars sometimes
But she doesn’t make wishes on them
When she wishes, she wishes for less ways to wish for
More ways to work toward it
Ten year-old enemy soldier
Our falling bombs are her shooting stars
I.O.U. by Metric

And all my people thats drug dealing just to get by
Stack your money till it gets sky high
We weren’t Suppose to make it past 25
Jokes on you we still alive
Throw your hands up in the sky
And say we don’t care what people say
We Don’t Care by Kanye West

I got a letter from the government
The other day
I opened and read it
It said they were suckers
They wanted me for their army or whatever
Picture me given’ a damn – I said never
Here is a land that never gave a damn
About a brother like me and myself
Because they never did
I wasn’t wit’ it, but just that very minute…
It occured to me
The suckers had authority
Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos Lyrics by Public Enemy


   23 December 2004, mid-morning

Matt mentions Shima’s hourglass figure, and my mind is reminded of Shoop by Salt-N-Pepa.

Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks
Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him

I’m not quite sure why. I guess it’s the “hips” in the lyrics. Very Necessary is a great album. I bought it used from a CD shop in downtown Toronto sometime in the late 90s, many years after it had come out. I was still in high school. I don’t remember why my friends and I were downtown, only that it was the summer. Very Necessary is a classic Hip Hop album. Salt-N-Pepa probably don’t get the respect they deserve. Pepa rhyming about how she can rap in PG in Break of Dawn is excellent. You should check this album out.

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I’ve got a Dungeon Master’s Guide
I’ve got a 12-sided die
I’ve got Kitty Pryde
And Nightcrawler too
Waiting there for me
Yes I do, I do
In the Garage by Weezer

I’ll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can’t see you every night free
I do
About a Girl by Nirvana

Rest In Peace Old Dirty Bastard

   14 November 2004, the wee hours

What y’all thought y’all wasn’t gon’ see me?
I’m the Osirus of this shit
Wu-Tang is here forever, motherfucker
—Triumph by Wu-Tang Clan

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Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
See, the sea wants to take me
The knife wants to slit me
Do you think you can help me ?
Sad veiled bride, please be happy
Handsome groom, give her room
Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly
(Though she needs you
More than she loves you)
I Know It’s Over by The Smiths

She’s a clever kind of girl
hailing from suburbia.
She daydreams of travelling abroad.
She knows it isn’t everyday
this kind of magic comes her way.
She’s crossing her fingers that he is the reason

there are stars in the sky
with the moon hanging by,
and the boy of her dreams in her arms.
He leans a little closer
as he gets to know her.
She’s smiling and he is in love.

The theme from ‘Kiss Me Goodnight’ by The Shoestrings

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hold
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

Limb by limb, tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me
Every day, every hour
I wish that I was bullet proof

Bullet Proof … I Wish I Was by Radiohead

When I met you, you were so unique
You had a little thing I’d love to keep
Every movement carried much mystique
I knew right then I’d carry on, to you I knew my heart belonged
You, you give me something
Something that nobody else can give
And my heart, started thumpin’
You know now, you’re the one I truly know I dig

You Give Me Something by Jamiroquai

Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
And threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I’ll run away with you
I’ll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
Why are you so far away? she said
Why won’t you ever know that I’m in love with you
That I’m in love with you

Just Like Heaven by the Cure.

I once had a dream
So I packed up and split for the city
I soon found out my lonely life wasn’t so pretty

That’s Not Me by Brian Wilson

When you cycled by
Here began all my dreams
The saddest thing I’ve ever seen
And you never knew
How much I really liked you
Because I never even told you
Oh, and I meant to

back to the old house by the Smiths

Moonlight in the sky
On the Forest Trail the Scent of the Leopard
My Heart is like Deer
In the Silence of this night, which way am I going?
The silvery shadow of leaves on my body
No more deer anywhere
As far as I go I see the moon bent like a sickle
Cutting the last golden deer-grain
Then sinking slowly
Into the darkness of all the sleep
In the eyes of a 100 does

Akashe Jyotsna by Jibonananda Dass. (I heard the poem, translated as above, in Hey! Ram.)

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