A painting of me

I look at all your hate mail as fan mail.
Writing shit down well knowing that you wouldn’t say it.
Why you buy a chopper if you wouldn’t spray it?
Little niggas breaking arms trying to play Rambo.
— Die Rich by Joey Fatts (Feat Vince Stapples) produced by Cardo

Oh, oh, BMO, how’d you get so pregnant?
Who’s the mother?
Oh, who’s the father?
Shh, I’ll tell you if you keep it a secret.
We will, we will, we will!
All right, last night, an electric presence came into my room and said,
BMO, I need your perfect body to host the human incarnation of a baby!”
— BMO’s Pregnant Song

Bein’ a dad can sure make you mad
Man it even can drive you crazy
It’s as hard as it looks
You gotta read them dumb books
And you end up despising Walt Disney
— “Bein’ a Dad” by Loudon Wainwright

The perseverance of a rebel I drop heavier levels
It’s unseen or heard, a king with words
Can’t knock the hustle, but I’ve seen street dreams deferred
Dark spots in my mind where the scene occured
Some say I’m too deep, I’m in too deep to sleep
Through me, Muhammed will forever speak
Greet brothers with handshakes in ghetto landscapes
Where a man is determined by how much a man make
The 6th Sense by Common

Time won’t give me time
And time makes lovers feel
Like they’ve got something real
But you and me we know
They’ve got nothing but time
And time won’t give me time
Won’t give me time
— Time (Clock of the Heart) by Culture Club

So much pressure in the air
And I can’t get away
I’m not happy here
Can You Get Away by 2pac

Is it a crime
that I still want you
and I want you to want me too
My love is wider than Victoria Lake
Taller than the Empire State
Is it a Crime by Sade

My mom can’t feed me, my boyfriend beats me
I have sex for money, the hood don’t love me
The cops wanna kill me, this nonsense built me
And I got no place to go
They bomb my village, they call us killers
Took me off they welfare, can’t afford they health care
My teacher won’t teach me, my master beats me
And it hurts me soul
Hurts Me Soul by Lupe Fiasco

With more supply than got demands
Still they take it from my people who got the lands
Cuz overseas pays Gs
They don’t understand
That they wearing dead men on their necks and hands.
— Red1, Keep the Beat

Whenever he calls my name, sounds slow, sweet and plain,
Right here, right there, I feel the burnin’ flame.
There’s a hot lookin’ dresser got a hold on me
Or is this the way love’s supposed to be? — Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandals. (I feel so nostalgic whenever I hear this song.)

We gonna kill all you mother fuckers.
Now when I came out I told you it was just about Biggie.
Then everybody had to open their mouth with a mother fucking opinion.
Well this is how we gon’ do this: Fuck Mobb Deep, Fuck Biggie, Fuck Bad Boy as a staff, record label, and as a mother fucking crew.
And if you want to be down with Bad Boy then fuck you too.
Chino XL, fuck you too.
All you mother fuckers, fuck you too.
— Tupac Shakur, Hit ‘Em Up

A nigga never been as broke as me (I like that)
When I was young I had two pair of Lees (besides that)
The pin stripes and the gray (uh-huh)
The one I wore on Mondays and Wednesdays
While niggas flirt, I’m sewing tigers on my shirt
And alligators
Ya wanna see the inside, huh, I see ya later
Here come the drama, “oh, that’s that nigga with the fake” — blaow!
“Why you punch me in my face?” stay in ya place
Sky’s the Limit by the Notorious B.I.G.

When I’m weak, you’re tellin’ me that I’m strong.
When I’m right, you’re tellin’ me that I’m wrong
But I know, now I understand, now I see,
I see your wicked plan. I’m a Junglist!
— Junglist by Tribe Of Issachar

I get along without you very well
Of course, I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring
For that would surely break my heart in two
I Get Along Without You Very Well by Billie Holiday

The Sundays' Blind

   24 November 2006, late morning

I grabbed Blind and Static and Silence by the Sundays. Blind was the follow up album to the very excellent Reading, Writing, Arithmetic. When I first listened to Blind I was a bit disappointed: it just didn’t have any tracks that I thought really stood out. However, listening to it a few more times at work my opinion has totally changed. It’s a really cool album. I’d describe it as a cross between the first album and something by the Cocteau Twins. A song like On Earth sounds very much like an “approachable” Cocteau Twins tracks; the song has that same ethereal quality, but still maintains a sort of pop sensibility. The Sundays are definitely one of those bands I’m disappointed stopped making music.

& I say
when you’re hoping for some more from your life
shouldn’t wonder you’ve had enough
& in my town
sounds of England swallow you down

Comment |  

Son, they shook, ‘cause ain’t no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death, scared to look
they shook, ‘cause ain’t no such things as halfway crooks
scared to death, scared to look
livin’ the live that of diamonds and guns
there’s numerous ways you can choose to earn funds
some of ‘em get shot, locked down, and turn nuns
cowardly hearts end straight up shook ones
he ain’t a crook son, he’s just a shook one
Shook Ones Part II by Mobb Deep

Please could you stay awhile to share my grief,
For it’s such a lovely day,
To have to always feel this way,
And the time that I will suffer less,
Is when I never have to wake.
Wandering Star by Portishead

And I see love and disaffection
and the clouds build up and won’t pass over.
This is my road to my redemption.
And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway.

The Sundays' Reading, Writing, Arithmetic

   11 August 2006, lunch time

I bought the Sundays’ first CD, Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, last night on the way home from a protest. The only song I knew from the CD before hand was Here’s Where the Story Ends, which I first heard as a cover performed by Faye Wong. (Faye Wong’s version is called Being Criminal; written in Chinese, the name is apparently a play on her name and her former husband Dou Wei’s name.) The first Sundays song I actually heard was Summertime, which I think was on the charts when I was in grade 11 or 12. It’s a very nice pop song: catchy and sweet. Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic is a great CD. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since I bought it. The cashier at HMV looked at the CD when I gave it to her, held it tight in her hands, smiled, and then told me, “This is such a good CD.” She seemed to reflect on it for a moment, before ringing my order through.

you’re not the only one that I know
and I’m too proud to talk to you anyway
you’re not the only one that I know
and I’m far too proud to talk to you any day
so I say I’m in love with the world

Comment |  

You gotta go downtown
That’s the way to my love
Take it round and round
Oooh, you can’t stop ‘til you find my love
Go downtown, To taste the sweetness
Will be enough
That’s the love that you’ve been dreaming of
Downtown by SWV. (R&B is hardly ever subtle, is it?)

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You’d like to
So, if there’s something you’d like to try
If there’s something you’d like to try
ASK by The Smiths.

And i’m reminded
Of the time that i was blinded
By the sun
It was a welcome change
From the sight of you hanging
Like a willow off the arm of yet another visionary
Prophetess East Van. punk
Painter in your Pocket by Destroyer

If you always get up late
You’ll never be on time
If you always get up late
You’re never gonna be on time
And that’s a shame
Cause I like you
I never see you.
Swimmers by Broken Social Scene

Es pasion delirio
de estar contigo
pero, pero, pero
soy dichoso mi amor porque me quieres tambien.
Tu Mi Delirio sung by Astrud Gilberto

As we stroll along together
Holding hands, walking all alone
So in love are we two
That we don’t know what to do
So in love
In a world of our own
So Much In Love by Timothy B. Schmit

← ← ←