A painting of me

Beyond The Line. ⇒

   11 June 2010, mid-afternoon

I’m not anti-German (when you think of me, think open-minded) but I can’t understand anyone who is a fan of Germany. If you ask me, Germans should root for other nations for their own good, and I say this with complete open-mindedness.

I have no idea why anyone cheers for Germany. They have to be one of the most boring teams ever. With Germany it’s all 8 feet tall players head butting the ball.

Like many cities around the world, Beiruti streets are quiet and empty while the games are being played. It was so during the war. There were minimal battles during the months of the World Cup, and while a game was being played, no bullet was fired. I’m sure if a militia fighter fired a shot while a game was on television, his comrades would have killed him. You just don’t do that. Many of the fighters still claim that when power went out in one area during a game, they crossed battle lines, traversed trenches, to watch with the enemy combatants. Although I cannot verify such stories, I have no reason to doubt. During the war, a Palestinian fighter could watch the game with a Phalangist, a Shiite with a Catholic, but no way could a Brazil supporter watch with a German one.

Be sure to read the whole essay. It’s quite good. I really need to go to Lebanon.

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Comments

  1. “He cheered for Third-Worlders against Europeans.”

    My dad does the same.

    by sh!ma on June 11 2010, 4:40 pm   #

  2. I do the same. I love watching Europe lose.

    by ramanan on June 11 2010, 4:44 pm   #

  3. The Germans play a hard-working, uncomprimising, industrious game. Kinda like I would if I was…a football playing nation. Their goal is to win by any means necessary, not to score pretty goals or play the game with ‘flair’. That’s why I always cheer for them. That, and the fact that my father-in-law is a German national.

    Nothing bugs me more than people who dislike a team because they play ‘ugly’ or ‘negative’ football. The objective is to win. If you have long, greasy hair and score one really pretty goal, yet I have a blond buzz cut and score two crappy ones, I’m still better than you.

    If you’re looking for a European team to hate, I have two words for you:

    Italy.

    Portugal.

    by matthew on June 11 2010, 10:40 pm   #

  4. Why I (still) hate the US Soccer Team By Harper’s Ken Silverstein.

    Germany played a good game over the weekend. They seemed to have learned to play soccer with their feet since the last time I saw them play. Impressive.

    by ramanan on June 14 2010, 2:49 pm   #

  5. An overview of the teams playing in the World Cup. Full of stuff like this:

    The French team is made up almost entirely of black and Arab immigrants from the poor suburbs, so a win for France is a giant fuck-you to perennial presidential candidate Jean-Marie Le Pen.

    and this:

    Argentina has the world’s best player in Lionel Messi, and lots of other talent. They also have a coach, the legendary Diego Maradona, who is bat-shit crazy. Maradona recently had his stomach stapled because after he quit using coke he got super-fat. When Argentina qualified for the World Cup, he held perhaps the greatest press conference in the history of sport, during which he repeatedly told the Argentine press to (in my very rough translation), “Suck it and keep on sucking it” (Que la chupen y sigan chupando).

    by ramanan on June 17 2010, 2:12 pm   #

  6. Oh, and his description of Germany is basically the same as Matt’s:

    The team that never underperforms, never suffers from any sort of self-doubt or mental angst. They win their penalty shootouts; they consistently beat plucky underdogs. One of the great things about sports is how they can serve to eliminate or at least undermine national or ethnic stereotypes, but sometimes Germans come along, play with the cold mechanical efficiency of a Mercedes engine, and then sports don’t do that.

    by ramanan on June 17 2010, 2:35 pm   #

  7. Why I hate Landon Donovan.

    by ramanan on June 18 2010, 5:02 pm   #

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